Our Story: The Whole Story

I wrote this a few days after everything happened. I've been on the fence about publishing it. Mostly because it's such a personal thing that happened to Cody and I.  Up until this point we've only told a handful of people. It's because I want people to hear it from us, not from another source.  I want them to know it's our story, and I want it to be shared on my terms.  I realize now that it's on the internet it's anyone's story, but for a while it was just ours.  I want to share with all of you our experience.

All the odd symptoms finally added up and we discovered I had an Ectopic Pregnancy on August 25, I was 6 weeks pregnant.

I was just sitting at my desk when I felt a super sharp pain on my right side. At first I thought it was just gas, so I laid down under my desk. My work mom Lori saw me and told that was not going to happen. We went into an empty office and she arranged chairs so I could lay down. I laid there for a few minutes, but no relief. I went to the bathroom thinking maybe I was just constipated (TMI I know), but nope. I went back to my office to find Lori and my other work mom Michelle was there. She told me to call up to L&D to see if I should check into the ER. They immediately said yes. So Michelle walked me to the ER where I was convinced it was just a kidney stone. (My last one was senior year in high school) I even called Cody and told him not to leave work that it was just a kidney stone. (The pain was in the exact same spot and felt similar.) I got checked in and I felt like I was being so dramatic, but they took me back to a bed super quick.

I saw the Dr., he said what he was going to draw some blood and run some tests. I made sure he knew I was pregnant. Right off the bat they started an IV, drew labs and gave me morphine. Shortly after that they took me back for my ultrasound. I know everyone that is taking care of me, so I knew I was in good hands. I go into the ultrasound super nervous (shaking uncontrollably from adrenal and morphine). I know the tech can't tell me anything, but I also know she wouldn't lie to my face. We come up with a code phrase, "call your husband"(because Cody is still at work) if something is wrong. She does an ultrasound of my kidneys, everything looks good. Then my uterus. I knew immediately that it was empty. She tried to reassure me that I may have just not been as far along as I thought I was. (but I had my HCG levels checked and had read that once you hit 1,000 you can see something on an ultrasound.) At this point she informs me we have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound. I empty my bladder and prepare for the exam. Everything is fine until she hits a very sensitive part. She immediately tells me to call my husband. I ask through sobs if there's a baby she says yes, but doesn't tell me anything else. I guess on my own and start full on crying. Cody is there immediately and we head back to the ER. I cry a lot. The ER doctor breaks the news and tells me that it's an ectopic pregnancy and that he's going to call my OBGYN.

Well, mine is in Scotland, so it's his practice partner that comes to talk to me. I already knew what it meant, surgery STAT. Originally, I was hoping we would be able to save the tube. The Dr. explained that even if we did save the tube, this would just keep happening. She was super worried that it may be in the process of rupturing. I was taken to the OR two hours later. At this point in the room with me are Cody, my two work moms', Rod, and Dana. It felt good to have all of them by my side. I was terrified going into surgery, but I came out and everything went as planned.

 I was rolled up to a hospital room where I stayed the night.  I slept roughly from midnight until 4 am rounds.  My doctor came and visited me around 10 a.m.. She told me that she thought the tube may have been defective all along, but the other tube looked "beautiful", and my ovaries were also in great shape.  I was visited by a few of my close friends that I work with and my department sent me flowers with an amazing card. I was discharged around 4 p.m..  My biggest fear and my "Mount Everest", was getting up the three flights of stairs to our apartment.  Cody was by my side the entire time and made sure we went at my pace.  I defeated the stairs and spent the next 2ish weeks in bed.

The silver lining among all the choas was my support system. Cody was by my side every minute, of everyday. He couldn't physically be with me, but texted me while he was at work and came home for lunch. He made sure all of my needs were met. He made sure I showered to feel human again, that I had food in my belly, that I was never in more pain than I needed to be in, and that I knew I was loved. My parents, sisters, and in laws check up on me daily. Leah flew in for a couple of days to just sit with me and binge watch reality shows. This was the hardest thing I've ever endured, but I'm so blessed with the love of family and friends.

Our Story: Prologue

This is just the PROLOGUE. Please see the post after this one here for The Whole Story.

On Sunday, August 9th, I had some really weird spotting. I was scheduled to start my period on Wednesday so I didn't think too much into it. I thought I was just early. I starting Googling bleeding before period. (In hindsight I don't recommend doing that) My initial thought went to miscarriage, but how do you miscarry before you even know you're pregnant? I told Cody and decided I wouldn't freak out until I missed my period. Well the spotting continued a little each day, but no period. That Wednesday I decided to take a pregnancy test. It seemed silly and surely I wasn't pregnant. Well I got two lines (PREGNANT) after only a minute of waiting. I freaked out, cried, and told Riddler he was going to be a big brother. Cody was still at work so I was trying to think of a clever way to tell him. Well I didn't come up with anything, so I told him while he was unloading the dishwasher. How romantic, right? He of course wanted proof so I did another one and again pregnant.  He was definitely very, very (very) cautiously optimistic.

Thursday I woke up at 5 am feeling like crap. I didn't have any energy and I was so freaking nauseous. I got up went into work, but ended up leaving due to almost throwing up every 5 minutes. I took it easy. Friday, I felt tons better. (I did sleep a full 12 hours the night before.) At the end of the day I ran into one of the OBGYNS (who just happens to be my favorite OBGYN) that delivers at the hospital. I told him the good news and my concern that I was still spotting. He told me to call his office first thing Monday morning and that they would take my blood to track my hormones. He also said to take it super easy all weekend. We'll know more on Monday I guess, but for now I'm holding out hope for a baby.

I had my blood drawn on Monday and I'm definitely pregnant. My HCG was at 232!!  I go back in on Wednesday and fingers crossed my numbers double.

As I sit here waiting to go back for my second blood test mine and Cody's song comes on. It takes everything in me not to break down in tears. I'm taking this as a good sign. At least a little piece of comfort in this scary time of my life. I didn't know how I thought pregnancy was going to go. My mom had 3 easy pregnancies and the 4th didn't get unusual until the third trimester when my sister wouldn't turn. It's so scary not knowing anything and just trusting everything will work out. Today I'm pregnant and I'm going to live in the moment and love this little alien as long as I get to. I hope it's for a very long time, but I don't get to make those decisions. So cheers to living in the moment and loving the things that are in my control.

We got the results from yesterday's test numbers went up from 232 to 495. That is great news!! I'm still spotting. I go in again tomorrow and fingers and toes crossed that numbers are up again!!

I went in for my third blood test today. We won't get the results until Monday, so it will be another chill weekend for me. I wonder how many books I can finish this weekend. Anyways still cautiously optimistic. My hormones must be raging because I've cried numerous times. Happy ugly tears while watching a feel good video, and little things like not knowing which salad to get at lunch. Not to mention nausea and dry heaving more than I can count. And my little boonies hurt more than I thought was possible.

We got the results from Friday....1077!!!! Wooo!! I'm scheduled for a sonogram on September 4th.  I'm still spotting and I'm going to take it easy, but this is great news!!

Before you congratulate us PLEASE read the post after this one!!  I felt this needed to be shared because it's raw.  I wrote this every day these events happened. These were my true feelings in that moment and I feel like that's rare and beautiful.

How to Stay Cool

I know for most, summer is winding down and y'all are getting excited for falls. Well here, fall may not make an appearance until Thanksgiving. Monday it was 104 outside not accounting for humidity. (Yes, it is as hot as it sounds.) Today our "cold front" calls for 100. So how do I manage to stay cool with temperatures staying at or greater than 100?  The simple answer in two little letters, A/C.  Luckily everywhere out here has A/C, but if I'm feeling adventurous there are some other ways to stay cool.  Here are a few of my personal favorites.

• Poolside, In the pool sipping water or lemonade.  I don't recommend alcohol as my worst ever sunburn happened while drinking.  I highly recommend the strongest sunscreen you can find and applying it per directions.

• Ice cream, smoothies, slushies, milk shakes, or pretty much anything that involves freezing or a freezer.  Sonic happy hour is the perfect excuse for one of these babies.  And trust me Texans love their Sonic.

• Shorts and a tank top, or really any single layer clothing. If it requires an undershirt, it's not happening until fall.

• Sandals. I exclusively only wear sandals in the summer.  I may have a slight sandal obsession. To the point where doctors and nurses have to tell me that my feet are going to freeze, if I don't wear different shoes.  Also gross fact my feet and excessive amount, so regular shoes are just not going to happen until they have to.

• Short hair or a bun.  Up until this summer my hair was obnoxiously long.  During the summer it was ALWAYS up.  The sock bun was my BFF.  Now my hair is short and a lot less work not to mention cooler.  Yes, you can live with long hair her, you will just sweat a lot if you dare to wear it down.

• Water.  I mean A LOT of water.  Take what you normally drink (outside of Texas or even the summer) and at least double that.  Keep it with you at all times.  Ice water of course is a definite plus.

Speaking of ice.

• Ice, in everything.  Even with A/C things warm up quickly.  I used to think people who put ice in their milk were weirdos, but now I don't drink it any other way.  I mean how am I supposed to enjoy cookies and milk if my milk goes warm half way through? 

• The crockpot/slow cooker.  If it's hot outside warming up the oven means warming up the house and having to use more A/C which means more $$.  There are thousands of crockpot recipes out there.  My favorite is Root-beer Pulled Pork.  Recipe coming soon.

What are your secrets for staying cool in the summer?

I'm Serious

My idea of a perfect Sunday is laying by the pool reading or listening to a new novel. Recently I made some friends at our complex's pool. It seemed great they drank their alcoholic beverages, I sipped my water, we had great conversations.  Well as the saying goes, "It's all fun and games until someone gets drunk and starts degrading other people." Seriously?

It is NEVER okay to catcall another human being. It's not okay to degrade another person in any form. Male, female, black, white, young, or old. I do not care. Woman, (especially for this instance) are not pieces of meat. We don't go out to the pool to be degraded,(Yes, I know woman degrade men too, but I can't personally say I've experienced that) we go out there to relax and have a good time. If you think we put on a bikini so you can have your ego stroked you are so far mistaken.

This has to stop. Women are not objects!! They do not dress to please you and if you don't have enough self control to keep your dirty thoughts from coming out of your disgusting mouth, please do the public a favor and never leave your house. It's not okay to comment inappropriately on a woman's body, EVER. Let's just make it a rule to not comment on anyone's body inappropriately, period. I'm just so bewildered and upset. No one should have to think about what kind of image they're portraying when they get dressed in the morning. If I want to go relax by the pool I should be able to in peace. I'm not the type of girl who flaunts her body. I don't need your comments or catcalls. I don't have daddy issues and I have a wonderful husband who wants more than anything to punch you in the face right now. 

Some would say, "Well why wasn't your husband down at the pool with you?" Because I'm a grown woman and should be able to enjoy the pool I pay for, without needing back up. Is this really what the world has come to? I can't even enjoy a Sunday by the pool without getting verbally harassed!!

Lastly, let's get something straight. If I talk to you and I'm nice, it's because I'm a genuinely nice
person. I'm happily married and have no reason to flirt with you. I assure you I'm just being nice. So do me a favor and leave me alone.

(Drops mic, steps off soap box...for now)

Hey Ya'll

I know I've been MIA lately, but I've felt uninspired and I was just not feeling my blog layout anymore.  For a brief moment I thought about buying a layout, but let's be honest, I'm WAY too cheap for that.  I'm still tweeking things here and there, but I think I'm heading in the right direction.

 I'm going to be more committed to my blog and write even if I think no one cares.  I have a voice and I want it to be heard.  Just a disclosure, everything I write here is my opinion.  It should in no way reflect my employer or anyone else for that matter.  If you also have an opinion, PLEASE leave me a comment.  If you agree leave me a comment. If you disagree leave me a comment. (Just keep it to the point.)

I plan on writing a ton of different stuff. New foods we try, apartment hunting, things I'm passionate about, Cody, Riddler, Texans (that's a given), my feelings, married life, and who the heck knows what else.


So buckle up and I'm excited you're here for the ride.

Captain

I've been wanting to write something, but words escape me. I work for the most amazing hospital. I've never felt such a closeness to all of my coworkers like I do here. Working in the medical field we see a lot of sadness. Patients pass away, are given bad news and all kinds of devasting things. I knew that working at a hospital would be hard. What I didn't know is how rewarding it would be. I work with the most amazing people. Drs, nurses, phlebotomists, directors, radiology techs, registrars, insurance verifiers, even our chiefs are the best.
That's what makes writing this post so hard. I used to be the hospital receptionist. It was a hard job, but full of such reward. I not only got to know patients on a personal level, but all the employees. One of my absolute favorite colleagues, passed away today.
Kirk was my biggest advocate and had an open door policy. We said good morning every single day. Even when he would tell me it wasn't a "good" morning. He took pride in his work and patients were his first priority. He somehow always knew when I needed chocolate and was always in good supply. His laugh was contagious and you could hear it from across the lobby. He was full of knowledge and had the biggest heart. He was a family man and loved to talk about his girls. They were his pride and joy. I'm so honored I got to know him. I'm truly going to miss seeing him everyday. Till we meet again Captain!!

My Wedding Dress

The day I said yes to my dress.

I wrote a blog post last winter about the story of my dress.  It's a long one, but a good one.  You can read the entire story here.  The short story goes a little like this.  I stalked pictures of dresses long before I got engaged (who doesn't) so I had a style in mind and lace was a MUST.  Cody proposed, and I found a dress at Davids Bridal that I really liked.  I was in love with the neckline and all the bling.  I went wedding dress shopping for the first time on my birthday with my family back home, in Utah.  I had a ball and honestly thought I had found the one.  After much pondering and consideration I decided the quality of the lace was lacking on my favorite dress A TON, so I went home empty handed.



The top really is a dream.

 I restarted my search about a month later with my now mother and sister in law here in Texas. We ended up at a completely different shop where I tried on several different dresses and fell in love with one.  Well long story short it was $2,500!(!!!!)  I was devastated. There was no way I could justify spending that much on a dress. There were many tears for many months. (I'm a little bit of a drama queen) To the point where I was convinced I would NEVER find my dream gown. 



The dress that almost broke my heart.

Well November rolled around and I was more than ready to start my search again. It was tricky trying to find a time that worked for my mother and sister in law, but we found it the Saturday after Thanksgiving.  I made an appointment at Lasting Bridal Couture in Addison.  I made sure my consultant knew what I wanted and my budget which was under $1,000. We went through the store and we swam through the sample gowns.  We had a good variety of dresses all well within my budget.  I tried on 4 that were alright and 1 that was a contender.  The moment I saw this dress my thought was "it's not white, but it's really pretty."  My consultant put me in it and it fit like a glove.  I went out and my entourage agreed.  Before any of us got too excited we asked the price.  A whopping $250!!!! I was sold right then and there. It was a sample gown that was a true size 2. Essentially no one could ever fit in it, so it was removed from the show floor, and had just been sitting in the sample room for months. The longer it sat the lower the price got, which was just what I needed.
 My dress was an absolute dream come true and a steal at just $250(!!!!!).  Originally the dress didn't have the pearl buttons on the back so I had those added.  I also added a gorgeous floral belt to tie everything together. I have no doubt in my mind that, my dress was waiting for me all that time and it was meant to be mine.




The buttons!!

 

My gorgeous belt.



My dress the day of my wedding hanging in the trees.

The view from the back.

The dress in action. With my adorable niece.

If you get one thing out of this post I hope that it's this, you don't have to spend thousands of dollars on the dress of your dreams.  I can't guarantee you'll get a steal like I did, but if you look hard enough you'll find the perfect dress for your perfect wedding.